Service Is the Center of a Good Life

Why do some seek wealth, health, or friends, while others desire knowledge, creativity, or God above all else? Yet, in isolation, these pursuits miss the true treasure of life. That which can incorporate all other desires without competing with them. We can walk on earth like thirsty beggars, or realize that the oasis has been right there all along. To find our purpose, we must see through the fata morgana that endless improvement in any one area of life will bring lasting fulfillment. By turning our searching into serving, we can come to rest. And that stillness leads us to walk the path of the good life.

Essence

Service is the center of life, which turns imbalance into harmony. “The highest good is like water. Water benefits all things and does not compete. It dwells in places that others disdain. Therefore, it is close to the Tao.” ² And Service is the center that harmonizes all our life areas, and brings balance to each and single one of them. It unites our Body and Relationships, Heart and Mind, Matter and Spirit, into a life of purpose. The act of aligning your gifts with the needs of the world is the fruit of all self-development. Service is both the path and the goal; it is what all other areas point to, and the source from which the areas arise.

Isolation

Pick up any book from the library, watch any video on the internet, or overhear any conversation between people. It’s either about improving material life, health, relationships, mind, creativity, or spirituality. None of these things is bad in and of themselves, but without relating any of our pursuits to one another, we will miss our purpose. When we stay fixated on any one pursuit for too long—such as romance, career, education, religion, art, or fitness—we will burn out. No single activity can bring true success in isolation. When one focuses solely on one area, temporary success, if achieved at all, becomes inevitable. Another or multiple areas must then take the cost in order to succeed at another.

There’s nothing bad about pursuing any improvement in your Body, Relationships, Mind, Heart, Matter, or Spirit. But in isolation, they can grow into forces that consume one’s entire life. This is not real success because we have seven areas. One could argue about the number, definitions, and names, but the conclusion is still the same: success in one area of your life shouldn’t cause another to burn out. Humans are complex creatures, and despite all the uncertainty we must face, the only sane solution is to choose to do our best to live well. And that is to walk the path of the good life and build true success without burnout.

It’s presence that counts, and to be alive means to be in harmony, and so honoring all our other six areas over time. Very few manage to create a harmonious life where all areas are cultivated. That is why so many fall short of their potential—and of what they could have contributed—had they tended the whole garden of their life. If all areas are developed, our gift can reveal itself. This is both something we’re born with and that needs to be nurtured. Ignorance of the importance and nature of one’s life leads to the withholding of the gift. It’s the most extreme form of selfishness to steal the world of your gift. This is being a robber; our responsibility is to become a servant of life.

Pillars

Although water is colorless by nature and may appear empty, it’s the giver and mother of life. Service is an area of space, and therefore harder to cultivate than any of the other six areas. Yet, it’s what allows the other areas to exist. These pillars may help you understand your purpose, and it’s likely the hardest thing you’ll ever practice.

Gift

We are all born with an innate gift that takes on different forms as we move through the phases of life. The yogis call it dharma, the Japanese ikigai, and in modernity, your purpose. Our gift is the visible overflow of a well-lived life, our way of giving ourselves to humanity, nature, and the divine. True service is rendered from a cup that naturally overflows. This can be done through everyday acts of kindness, sharing, and withholding from doing harm. Find your gift, cultivate it through developing the six areas, and bring it into the world. It matters not the extent of one’s influence, but only the choice of living one's purpose and the willingness to contribute.

Wholeness

Service is not just action but also being. It’s the recognition that self and world aren’t separate, that life itself moves through us, and is us. Our being can not be understood from the state of our Body, Relationships, Heart, Mind, Matter, or Spirit alone. It’s the connection between all that forms the root of our being. When we stop the need to do, have, or experience anything, we can realize our wholeness. Everything is good the way it is, nothing is missing, and nothing can be added; that is our true nature. Spirit comes close to this realization, but it still has an opposite, namely Matter. Wholeness refers to the space where opposites do not exist.

Balance

Although a static life balance is impossible to achieve, service is what allows for balance to exist in any individual area. All to often we disregard a certain area, because of our personal beliefs and ignorance, e.g., money, spirituality, or fitness. But by deliberately developing any area with the knowledge that it’s in contribution, for something else, we can bring balance to that specific area. We will never be materially, socially, or creatively perfect, and we don’t have to be, as long as we’re developing it to the best of our ability, it’s enough.

Harmony

Service weaves the areas of Body, Mind, Matter, Relationships, Heart, and Spirit together. It allows for each of the areas to come into the for front of ones life. And as we move through the phases of life—child to adult, single to married, student to teacher—some areas recede into the background while others naturally come to the forefront. Becoming a monk (Spirit) for five years means giving up your world possessions (Matter). Becoming a professor (Mind) means to give up creative expression (Heart). Or improving ones fitness (Body) will require sacrifice time, otherwise spend ones friends (Relationships). Harmony is our ability to move between the six areas.

Walk the path.

In the end, only one question matters: Are you living a good life? Can you look in the mirror and answer with a firm yes? That answer matters not because of what others say, but because time is slipping away and death approaches. One can argue that a good life is marked not only by what we can control but also by certain circumstances, namely, the absence of severe misfortune. The Stoics have an answer to randomness and misfortune, and aim to control only what they can influence, and so always live an honorable life. The Seven Life Areas is, however, more of a practical philosophy that incorporates both what we can and we can’t control, and differs therefore also from modern self-help. The truth is that not everyone can live a good life, but most of us can, and we never know on which side of the spectrum we fall, unless we take a step, then another, and then another. There’s no destination, only a journey, and we want to walk it well.

Footnotes

1. The Tao the Ching by Stephan Mitchell